“What will you do with your one wild and precious life?” -Mary Oliver
I lost myself this year. And all while forgetting about myself, I fell deeper in love with what I have wanted for so long. It is a wild experience when you own and run your own photography company. On the one hand, you are a creative, easily wanting to hone in on your skills and find “your eye”…discovering is what makes you, you! But then you have a business to run, emails, calls, meetings, financials, figuring out gear, lenses…all that. And at some point, well…., I lost myself in the best possible way. I dove in deep, sacrificed, and in return, received major success and personal growth. You must have grit, otherwise you sink back into what feels “comfortable”. I went far past comfortable and achieved what I set out to do.
15 months ago I was sitting at a desk, working for an environmental firm, thinking I found my dream job. Pushing papers along, filling in spreadsheets, helping cities with their energy usage, recycling, waste management…and pushing more papers. I would wonder “How come something I worked so hard for, earned a Master’s Degree in, spent endless hours interning and working to get to this point felt incredibly EMPTY?” It stung and hurt. Paperwork wasn’t my idea of a dream. And then those hard questions came. Is this my life? Forever? At a desk? Is this what I want? Life really IS too precious, and you find that out even more when you are working at something you thought was “it” but suddenly isn’t “it.” I still love my degree. I still use it in the capacity that I have found I truly enjoy: educating others, municipality work, sustainability initiatives. But not in pushing papers, and right now, not as my full time career, sitting at a desk.
Thus began my first year as a professional photographer. It took me places I had dreamed of, but didn’t think would come this year. It brought me clients that I cherish and whom I loved spending time with. It uncovered the core of who I really am: a creative. A business degree and an office job is how my family may define success; to me, somehow that fell short of what I wanted. So I jumped…. I jumped far away from the corporate ladder I was climbing, straight into family photography sessions, weddings, newborns, lifestyle images, creative collaborations, workshops, endless tutorials, mentoring, sacrifice, culling, editing, storytelling, imagination, wild dreams, and a fierce passion.
I am and always will be my harshest critic. So to say that 2015 was a success in my books, is really telling. Here are my highlights of images that captured the experiences I must remember as a full time photographer for my first full year (warning this is long, but has some of the best tips and lessons I learned).