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3 Things I would have Changed about my Wedding Day

Coming from a wedding photographer on her 8th anniversary!

By Ashleigh Cropper

June 13^th, 2018

It is our 8th wedding anniversary!

What is crazier is that my husband, Ian and I have known each other since freshman math class in high school! He has been one of my best friends for 16 years, and I really don't remember life without him. We have been through high school, college, jobs, marriage, and now expecting a little one at the end of this year! My hardest and most difficult points in life, he has been there listening. He is truly the best listener, and knows me better than I know myself (cliche, I know...but it's true!)

With so many years together now, and my career shift of being a wedding photographer five years ago, it's hard not to look back on our wedding day and think about what we would have done differently. Add in being a wedding photographer, and I try so hard to share with my couples a few things I learned from being a bride and what I wish I had done differently.

So now I am going to share those three items with you all!

3 Things I would have Changed about my Wedding Day

#1-hire a Wedding pLanner

If you have followed me for a while on social media, or this blog, then you know how passionate I am about wedding planners. It honestly didn't cross my mind to get a planner, but if I could do it over again I would hire one instantly! Ian was in school in Utah, I was living five hours away in Portland, we had 120 guests from all over the US coming to our small town of Ashland, Oregon for our wedding. It was an INSANE undertaking. But more importantly, the day of the wedding I wish more than anything else that I had a planner there.

So many details, timing, timelines, questions, concerns, family relationship conflicts happened on our wedding day. It's hard for me sometimes to talk about my wedding because there are some very important relationships that went sour because of our wedding. I know that if I had a planner, those relationships would have been salvaged. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. But there was more than just family drama. We didn't really know when we should have our photographer arrive, or who was going to be at our reception location to greet all the vendors, and then where were my flowers?! The list just went on and on. The point is, SO MANY issues would of been avoided with a planner, and I would have enjoyed the day so much more with one by my side.

You can read more about my blog posts here and here about planners! I share all the information you need to know!

#2-Not Try to please everyone

Truth is, you won't please everyone. It's literally impossible! So don't even try! I know you think you understand that everyone you know will have an opinion on everything you do, but you STILL can't even imagine it. You will here "well that's how I did it" more times than you can count.

I wish I had gone with my gut for more of the decision making.

"Do I really want to do a bouquet toss? Or wear a garter?" Meh.... But I did because I was told that's what you do! And just do. not. do. a receiving line! I felt like I needed to greet and say hi to every guest. I stood there for two hours, and by the end my voice was gone! So, see people organically throughout the reception.

We did make two decisions that were super important to us. Which leads me to say, choose the few areas you really want to invest in, so you and your fiance know which decisions to put your focus on.

The two areas we decided to focus on were florals and the food! I knew all too well that professional flowers were incredibly important. Flowers wilt too quickly, and I wanted to make sure they lasted throughout the day. I had family saying I should just get a friend do the flowers, but I'm glad I didn't go in that direction! Since being a photographer I have seen one too many sad looking bouquets, boutonnieres, and quickly dying flowers. They do become a large part of your day, so I wanted to get a professional who knew how to make them last.

Food is at the very top because my husband is/was a chef...still does it here and there for fun. One of the chefs he worked for in high school also owns a catering company, and we couldn't imagine having anyone else cater our wedding. We love food, my husband especially, and it's a passion in our home. Our menu was very local based with wild salmon, blackberry butter compote, roasted chicken, local fruits mixed with mint, summer salads, the best raspberry rose-infused lemonade you could ever imagine!

(Side note: photography should always be top of your list! Those images are the only lasting element from your day, and we are so grateful for the memories of our wedding day!)

#3- focus more energy Enjoying the day!

Maybe I should start by saying this first: get a lot of rest the days leading up to your wedding! I was SO tired the day of my wedding because the night before a best friend threw a dance party for us all. It was really fun, but I was wiped! It's impossible to be fully present and enjoy your day if you're tired. It really goes too fast, and is exhausting!

But this leads me to say, enjoy every minute. I remember a friend telling me to take a step back just watch everyone for a moment. I did that right after our receiving line when everyone was seated and eating dinner. It will be one of the only times that everyone you really love is in one place, and that is something special!

One of my favorite memories of the day was actually watching my dad go nuts on the dance floor! He is a pretty funny guy, but I've never seen him dance quite like he did on my wedding night! He was twirling my bridesmaids around, getting in on dance circles, and shakin' it! It was hilarious, and so much fun! I was so glad I was out on the dance floor with him! Be present and be with those who have come to celebrate you two!

There is a glimpse into what was, and probably always will be, the most hectic, chaotic, love-filled, amazing day of my life! I hope a little bit of this wisdom finds it's way into your wedding planning! But most importantly, I hope you and your partner have the most stress-free and gorgeous wedding day!